The Night of Chopin


“Every transformation demands as its precondition “the ending of a world”-the collapse of an old philosophy of life.”

-Carl Jung

One night this week, I was lying in bed listening to something by Chopin.  I had heard the song before, but for whatever reason it resonated with that night. My shoulders relaxed and I could breathe deeply. I felt at peace.

It was a feeling I had never consciously experienced before.  I have been scurrying after one imaginary threat after another since I can remember. I understand the absurdity of reading a post about someone experiencing the baseline of average human behavior, but it marked a major turning point for me.

I have really struggled with various anxiety problems for awhile now with seemingly no end in sight, but now there is a clear path out. The best part of this whole experience has been that nothing external has changed. There have been no new medications, no change of locale, or anything like that. It an entirely internal battle.

I decided to start writing about my experience because I want to be definitive proof that you can get better. At my worst, I would always see other people with similar problems outrunning me in all aspects of life and it seemed as though they were miraculously healed one day.

I would like to document my recovery because you should not be ashamed of helping yourself. We all have problems that we need to overcome. The only way to find no problems within yourself is not to look.

“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.”

-Marcus Aurelius