Please Don’t Run Away (video)

I made another pseudo music video. This one is for the song Pills by Joji. I had a weird nostalgic/blue vibe from this song so I used old footage from the beach and made this video.

I hope you enjoy it!


<p><a href=”https://vimeo.com/244167528″>Please Don't Run Away</a> from <a href=”https://vimeo.com/ethanjhatchett”>Ethan J. Hatchett</a> on <a href=”https://vimeo.com”>Vimeo</a>.</p>

Ethan’s Motivational Mix

I awoke this morning feeling anxious and generally restless. This happens somewhat regularly, so I decided to put together a care package of sorts for when these moods rear their ugly head. Rather than hoarding it to myself, I have decided to share the playlist with you.

My anxiety is usually centered my work so the playlist is compiled of 5 videos, mostly centered around art. It is best to watch them in order.

I hope this reinvigorates you as much as it has reinvigorated me!

 

“Who Killed Eggins?” Remastered and Recut

In 2014, I wanted to make a Noir film with eggs, so I did. Who Killed Eggins?,  is my favorite film from the EMagnusTV Era (2010-2014), where I learned a lot about filmmaking without any real knowledge or education.

In 2014, I would have been 16 years old. While my peers were going on dates, buying cars, and “having fun”, I was making eggs talk in my basement. I was at a particularly awkward stage where I was a high school junior (?) taking my first filmmaking classes at a community college with twenty-somethings.

The fact that I was able to edit it in to something coherent is interesting, but I find that the sense of humor still bears resemblance to my current work even more interesting. If you watch The Bench, or Phantom, you can still see that weird humor. Glad to know I was always this weird.

I had a lot of fun recutting this film because I had forgotten a lot of jokes in it and found them hilarious in retrospect. I remember being embarrassed about making this film and thinking it was awful, but now I realize that it was not edited properly and it is a perfectly fine, little comedy short.

You can view the original here. 

My Brother

*I’m digging through old writing and I have found some stuff that I think might be worth posting.  This was written sometime in 2015.*

This is not an easy topic for me to write about. I don’t want this to be a catalog of perceived wrongs or just the good things about my relationship with my brother. I want to give a fair portrait of my relationship with my brother.

I have an older brother. His name is John. John has Asperger’s Syndrome and epilepsy. He is adopted. John is six foot nine inches tall. He is the most gentle person with animals I have ever met. John is also the crassest person I have ever met. Our relationship is… complicated.

John is different than most older brothers. He is nineteen, but his sensibilities are that of a thirteen year old. John can’t be left alone. He could seize and really hurt himself. John is socially awkward and doesn’t always get social cues. He doesn’t know how to tell if someone is disinterested when he is telling a story, if someone got his joke, but doesn’t think it is funny. and other things like that. John has no filter. What a normal person knows not to say to their grandmother, John says on a regular basis.

I used to resent my brother. My parents would always make a big deal over his, in my childish perspective, tiny accomplishments. He would color in the lines once and there would be a celebration. I would always color in the lines and not even get a pat on the back. John couldn’t ride a bike, but he was congratulated for trying. I could ride a bike with no problem, but no one cared. I understand now why my parents did this, but at the time I did not. It was a massive injustice in my mind and it was all John’s fault.

When I was born my brother was unhappy. He pitched a fit, actually. He was jealous that his mother was holding a new baby. This wasn’t exactly unusual behavior from an infant, but this behavior continued all the way into adulthood. My brother was always jealous of me. Who could blame him? I could do things that he couldn’t. Things that he struggled with, I did with ease.

On my birthdays (in early childhood), my parents would often get my brother a gift too so he wouldn’t complain. John hated when I was the center of attention. He would pitch a fit and complain to the point where I was miserable.

When I got my learner’s permit my brother was extremely jealous. Because of his epilepsy he couldn’t drive even though he was older than me. He wouldn’t go anywhere with me (when I was driving) without criticizing any little mistake I made.

When I entered into a relationship with a girl from his horse riding classes, he was, once again, jealous. He called her “The Foul Blue-haired Temptress” and me “The Love Leech.” Luckily, she took this all in stride and laughed about it. This time he was concerned about losing me which was kind of nice. It showed that he cared in his own weird way.

In later years, our relationship has improved. I used to ask ‘What is wrong with John?’, but now I know there is nothing wrong with John. He is just different. I understand John now. I don’t expect him to be like everyone else’s older brother. I love my brother. I wouldn’t want to have any replacement. He is special to me. He may be crass, rude, and just plain mean sometimes, but so am I. I would do anything for my brother. When I look to the future, I know that I will have to take care of John and that’s okay. I wouldn’t want my brother to be left all alone without anyone to look after him. They say you can’t choose your family, but I think you do. You choose who you keep in contact with, who you associate with, and who you trust. I choose John. He is compassionate, funny, and his heart is in the right place. Despite our past, I value my relationship with my brother even though it isn’t conventional.

Novlr

I have been trying Novlr recently and I really enjoy using it. Novlr is a browser based program for novel writing. Many of us have tried writing on normal word processors, it can be done, but Novlr makes it a lot easier.

Novlr has constant saving so you don’t have to worry about having to interrupt your writing to save. They also have Google Drive integration, so you can back up your files to a reliable source. I really like the Focus Mode, which fades out the headers, toolbars, etc. so you can focus on the writing. and I like reading the statistics to keep me motivated.

If you interested in using Novlr, they were kind enough to set up my audience with a special discount and free trial.

If you go to: http://app.novlr.org/signup/ejhatchett and use promo code: EJHNOVLR

You will receive a third off an annual subscription to Novlr (normally $10/month) and all of November for free.

Check out Novlr, it’s great!

Suicidal Weakness (Video)

I was listening to Kendrick Lamar’s To Pimp a Butterfly a lot lately, and the song really stuck out to me. I didn’t fully appreciate the album when it first came out, but, now it is my second favorite album just under Good Kid,  M.A.A.D City.

The second half of really stuck with me. It was really visceral, dark, and catches you off guard. The ending line, “The world’ll know money can’t stop a suicidal weakness,” is haunting in its honest bluntness.

Anyone who has struggled with depression or suicidal thoughts knows that riches, fame, or any external pleasure won’t fix it. It is an internal struggle that you have to face alone, which is why it is so difficult and isolating.

I wanted the video to capture the (for a lack of a better word) black and white thinking that someone has when you enter this state. People tend to focus on past regrets or future worries and that bogs them down even further in the muck.

The most haunting part of that half of the song is the familiarity of the tone and language being used. A lot of people have negative “self talk” and I imagine it sounds similar to the song.

It is somewhat cathartic to share these kinds of stories with others because it lets us know we are not alone in our struggle and we are not truly alone.